The FAQ of Marriage

The topic of the season seems to be - Marriage, what with a lot of posts being written around this subject, left, right and center. Add to that, I attended a couple of weddings last weekend and then .. what do you expect? ... I write a post on the subject too! Just for the record, I am happily married and survived the so called "Seven-year-itch" and reasonably confident of tackling more such itches in future.

I just read a post in one of the blogs that I follow, an FAQ on "Satsang", I got an idea of writing an FAQ on Marriage as well!

Q. Whether to marry or not?
A. My sincere opinion is ... Pleeeez do or else you would be missing something in Life. Nothing is certain in Life, so is the kind of partner that you will get. Its a gamble but believe me, worth playing.

Q. Love or Arranged Marriage?
A. I admit, I can't give you a straight answer. I would rather give you my view point.
In Love Marriage, there is this huge expectation that a couple has with each other (don't they make huge promises - about "chaand-taare" and stuff?), which will always be difficult to satisfy and sooner or later, reality comes crashing down. So it is very important for the couples to be sensible before taking the plunge. In Arranged Marriage, normally the "innocent" couple, to begin with, hardly know each other. So what expectation can they possibly have from each other. They build their love castle from scratch. I don't blame you if you think, I am a little biased towards arranged marriage.

Q. When to marry?
A. Its better if the couple is not too young but are matured enough for a serious relationship, but for god sake, don't wait till you are 30+. I think 26 is a very good age for a guy (sorry .. can't say about the girl .. they mature so early in life!)

Q. When to have kids?
A. Preferably, a couple should work on building a strong foundation whereby they develop a good bonding, a good understanding with each other and then proceed to have kids, as having kids is a job of great responsibility and once you have one (or two or more!), you will have little time to work on your relationship. So guess, after two romantic years, one may think about having kids.

Q. How to avoid fights? How to have a loving relationship?
A. Forget it ... you can't avoid fights. Fights and arguments are a part of married life. The spice of married life.
I believe, it just doesn't matter, whether its an arranged marriage or a love marriage. After the initial euphoria and once the novelty wears off, what really comes into play is the understanding that the couple has between themselves and what is it that they give top priority to - their ego or a loving relationship. While I don't claim to be very understanding, but when I give importance to Love for my family, everything else falls into place.

Stay Happily Married for Life!!